Friday night (Good Friday) found me laying still awake in bed with Maya snoring next to me and Daniel also trying to get to sleep. I don’t know where or how my thoughts started but I began to think about how I hadn’t talked with my mom for awhile. In fact, it had been over a week and I knew it was my fault that we hadn’t talked. Since I have picked up new students and with the time difference it seemed that every time my mom called I was either at work, cooking dinner, or just getting up. I think maybe she is waiting for me to call when I get the time and I’m not so busy so that we can have a nice non-stressed conversation. I feel guilty. I haven’t called. Sure, I had lots of excuses…it might be too late there to call, I am really tired right now, I just don’t have the time….there were many more. I started to think about how I do call when I NEED something or when it is convenient for me. I need a recipe or I need to ask my mom for some help in Korean. Only when I needed to. My mind wandered from my mom to Easter and to Jesus Christ. I realized that I had treated Him the same way I had treated my mom. I only came to Him or thought of Him when it was convenient for me. The same excuses I had used on my mom were the same ones I had used on Him. He had become a God of convenience for me. As I was thinking about my relationship with Christ a line from the Traditional Christian hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” came to mind. It goes like this:

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

I felt, that Friday night, that I truly am a creature prone to wandering and leaving. I felt that most of the time I spend trying to work out my problems by myself instead of coming to my knees before Him. I get so caught up in my daily life, teaching and taking care of my family, that I forget a lot of times the fount of all my blessings. I don’t want this Easter to be a time that is just convenient for me to remember Christ and His Resurrection and the promises that have been fulfilled because of it. I want to remember that each and every day. I want to remember it when I am tired, or when I am lonely, when I am happy, or when I am just content.

I know that I can do this at anytime. Christ is waiting for me at anytime. Just like I think that my mom is waiting for me anytime to call her.

Happy Easter to everyone! And may this Easter be the time to rededicate our hearts to the God that we love so much!

Here is a you tube video of the the hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” :